Arrows thro’ the neighborhood cat and jokes 12-year-olds make

"HA HA HA SHOES"

I HATE MONDAYS, and it seems more of the world agrees seeing as there was a much higher incidence of car accidents and stupid drivers this morning. Though I think this had more to do with Spring Forward according to the news.

So I know what you guys are here for, here is todays sound-bite! (voicelog)

Click here to listen

Things Yarho forgot to mention in this Soundbite

DAMN CRAZY SPRING FORWARD- Another irony of the universe, the time has to change just when I need all the time I can get to finish an essay. Not cool God, not cool. That and the whole thing royally confused me, at was up at 1:58am on Sunday and I was looking at the clock and told myself, “I’ll go to sleep at 2am and wake up early to work on the essay”. I literally waste time for two minutes or so and when I looked back the clock said 3am… I was so confused. I couldn’t understand how I wasted 1 whole hour in what felt like 2 minutes. I headed to bed immediately after figuring I would risk some sort of permanent brain damage by staying up a second longer. It wasn’t till I woke up, checked Facebook and saw my friend’s status did I finally understand it was Spring Forward. Needless to say I’ve been laughing about it since it happened.
Soliciting pizza- Ha ha not really. The pizza place has a “40 minutes or it’s free!” guarantee. Being the poor university students we are we literally counted the seconds and they were, indeed, late. BUT when we called to confirm that the pizza was free a really prissy lady said, “Well for YOUR university it’s a 50 minute guarantee”. We literally had 4 more minutes to wait but the guy pulled up with the pizzas in the nick of time. So no free pizza
“Why sir, I do believe your cat has an arrow through it!”- I KID YOU NOT this happened near where I live a few days ago. Someone left their cat out for a few minutes and when they went back to get it there was an arrow through it’s abdomen. Yes. An ARROW. The kind that you string a bow with, THAT kind of arrow! The poor thing survived and is on antibiotics. It’s sad that someone would do something like that. But someone must enlighten me, where the FUCK did they get an ARCHERY SET from?! And why would you use it to hunt neighborhood cats?! I know I live in Canada but the closest thing to nature we have in this city are those pesky raccoons who take residence in your roof. iseeyoutherevermin.